firing on all syllables

We’ve just returned from a holiday in a charming beachside town. One night, after we put Mr Squish to bed, my husband and I sat down for a romantic bottle of champagne on our hotel balcony.

As we opened the bottle we realised the hotel room didn’t have a champagne stopper nor a wine cooler.

“Not a problem,” said my husband, leaping to his feet. He disappeared into the kitchen for a while while I waited expectantly. “What masterpiece he would create out of the limited bits-and-bobs in our kitchen?”, I wondered.

He did not disappoint.

Yes. That is a saucepan. A saucepan with water and a freezer pack in it acting as our wine cooler. In fact, it’s a ‘Med Pack’ which is made for transporting medicines. Perfect for every romantic night!

But I reckon it’s the champagne stopper that is the real triumph. You can’t tell from the photo but it’s made from a tightly-folded paper towel tied up with a plastic wrapper.

Here’s a closeup:

Now if that doesn’t scream ROMANCE!, I don’t know what does.

It’s also a perfect example of why I call my husband ‘MacGyver’.

For people that don’t know the iconic 80′s TV show MacGyver, firstly, shame on you. SHAME ON YOU. Go and stand outside and have a think about what you’ve done.

Now come back in and watch an episode. While you’re at it, play this magnificent drinking game. A drink must be taken when there’s an explosion, MacGyver invents something, or when someone asks “What are you doing, MacGyver?”

Here are some of the crazy-resourceful things the Big M has done:

• Created a magnifying glass using a hairpin and white wine

• Made a land mine out of a pine cone

• Simulated helicopter noise with a spatula attached to a ceiling fan

• Made a hot air balloon from gas cylinders, a tent and a shed

• Confounded heat-seeking robots with paper, matches, and magnets

Now in regards to comparing my husband to MacGyver, I admit that my husband has never created a hot air balloon in a hurry. Nor has he, in his capacity as a vet, been required to simulate helicopter noise. And he has only occasionally been confronted with heat-seeking robots.

But what MacGyver and my hubster have in common is their unfailing resourceful streak.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve returned home to discover a new MacGyverism somewhere in the house. Once I opened our fridge to discover he’d sticky-taped a Tic Tac box to the inside of the door.

“Why?” I asked simply, pointing to the new addition.

“Because the light stopped turning off when the door closed,” he replied.

I stared at him.

“This way…” he continued in the manner of someone addressing a person who has just fallen on their head “…the Tic Tac box touches the switch and the light turns off.”

Oh.

The Tic Tac box is still there, by the way.

I’ve been trying to remember more, but to be honest I’m so used to them now. MacGyverisms are almost a weekly occurrence. But they are far more prevalent when we’re not at home.

For instance, say our hotel room doesn’t have a strainer for pasta. Just give my husband a bottle top, some dirt and some chewing gum and problem solved!

No can opener? Give him a matchbox, a tomato and a used tissue box and Bob’s your uncle!

I must admit though, the MacGyver champagne stopper did do the trick. I’m starting to think there might be a market for tbese MacGyverisms.

So expect to see the champagne kit made from paper, a plastic wrapper and a saucepan in the stores very soon (patent pending).

Tags: humor, humour, MacGyver, MacGyverisms, my husband's inventions, paper towel wine stopper, saucepan wine cooler