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Feed on

Early every Saturday – birthday or not – I head to a nearby sports oval. It’s here that I pay a nice lady to force me to exercise. I wish I could say I was enthusiastic, but alas. My poor trainer has recently had to adopt the kind of motivational style favored by enraged Army drill sergeants. You can hear her in the next suburb and she works me hard. Still I’m proud to report that I only rarely collapse at her feet, mumbling about lawsuits amidst all my sobbing. 

Anyway, this morning she thought she’d continue the merriment with a seemingly endless round of punching exercises. Just as I started aiming for her head, she said I could stop and run around the oval 5 times. I was absolutely relieved… until I realised I had to run around the oval 5 times. 
But here’s the rub. She made me keep my boxing gloves ON. I mean, why? Is the sports oval prone to attacks and no one told me. Are my hands grotesque to the eye? Why?  

Now, I’m not the most graceful jogger at the best of times and the big boxing gloves did me no favors. But, in a strange way, I’m glad this happened as I got an unexpected birthday present: I got to witness other joggers’ reactions. And they were great. 

Put yourself in their shoes. There you are, jogging along happily only to look up and see a 6-foot-tall, beetroot-faced, gasping woman who is INEXPLICABLY WEARING BOXING GLOVES and running straight at you. 

Brilliant facial expressions. Happy birthday, me!

2 Responses to “An unexpected birthday present”

  1. Jesse says:

    You crack me up.

    Take the gloves off and have a Happy Birthday. ;)


    • Ms FOAS says:

      Thanks! :)

      And sorry, I can only take the boxing gloves off when my trainer says so.

      Eating pizza last night was tough though, I admit it.