When I see a bizarre consumer product, I like to imagine the thought-processes and conversations that led to its creation.
Cheese in a can is a good example. As is the Bedazzler. Someone somewhere decided the world really needed these.
I have just discovered another such product. Let me introduce you to the dismembered hands that are the Zaky Infant Pillows!
I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall with this one. But, since I wasn’t, here’s how I imagine the conversation went:
Person 1: “So, Person 2, we’ve been briefed to create a new product to comfort babies. Something that will encourage good sleep patterns, provide a sense of protection, and assist with the physical and psychological development of children. Ok, give us some ideas! Let’s start!”
Person 2: “Well, it’s obvious.”
P1: “Go on. What would work best?”
P2: “A dismembered hand, I imagine”
P1: ” – ”
P2: “Not a real one. That would be crazy. A dismembered hand pillow”
P1: “Uuuum…. I’m not quite sure I …”
P2: “Come on, babies will love it! We’ll make it really ‘believable’. Realism is important.”
P1: “And how would we achieve that? Isn’t the baby just going to freak out when it sees the hand isn’t attached to anything?”
P2: “We can make it available in a skin colour.”
P1: “Well, that could help, I suppose”
P2: “… as well as in blue and green!”
P1: ” – ”
P2: “So, what do you think?”
P1: “Look, I don’t think it’s a very goo… ”
P2: “*ahem* Is this an appropriate moment to mention that my dad is the boss?”
P1: “AWESOME IDEA! Let’s do it.”
Only kidding. I love the Zaky Infant Pillow. I might get 3 so I can freak out Mr Squish.
Somewhere an armless muppet is trying to wipe the tears from their eyes. And failing.
I think the cops on Sesame Street need to look into this. Have any muppets mysteriously gone missing, for instance?
Maybe they’ll come out with the Deluxe Zaky Infant Pillow that caresses AND changes diapers.
YES! It’d be like Thing from the Addams Family. I’d buy 10 of those!