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Feed on

Hell is other people. 

I rarely agree with Jean-Paul Sartre on this. I like people. On the whole I believe people are good and decent and I’m happy to share oxygen with them.

However, there are times where I think that it’s the truest statement ever uttered and I want to pat that crazy French existentialist on the back and then order him to ‘bugger off’ because he is “other people” and, thus, hellish.

Occasions where I lose faith in humanity include:

- when I see ‘love it or leave’ slogans and other examples of racism-disguised-as-patriotism
- when I hear someone say “I ain’t done nothin’” (well then logically you have done something
- when I’m on a plane.

And, well, I’m on a plane right now. 


It’s a domestic flight and I’m with my husband in cattle class. I’ve been thinking of Sartre’s famous quote quite a bit since we took off. Being 6-foot-tall makes plane travel claustrophobic and irritating enough, but the crucial hellish element today is the fucking twat sitting in front of me. 

As I write this he has not just reclined his chair fully, but is leaning back with all his might to look out the window. Seriously. I can hear the chair bolts straining under the pressure, and the back of his head is virtually in my mouth.

So that I can resume breathing, I’ve been forced to recline my chair. Then so has the guy behind me, and so on, and so on. So there’s now a whole line of passengers seething with irritation.  

I’m so cross I’m thumping my keyboard. Fair whacking it, I am. Like that! And that!   

But then something pulled me out of my funk. Just as the plane was preparing its descent, I informed my husband that I was fairly certain we were heading into the ocean. He’s a slightly nervous flier and finds it hilarious when I make these jokes. Hilarious. 

Anyway his response today was “I hope not. I don’t want my iPad to get wet.” It made me laugh and I remembered just how much I love my man. He is “other people” and not hellish in the slightest.

So I apologise for my anger, people. Gather around. There’s plenty of oxygen for us all!

(………. Um. Actually while we’re all gathered here, can we just give that man in front a good kicking? The head or groin region is fine. Great, thanks!)

2 Responses to “Hell is other passengers”

  1. KateWrightFaLaLa says:

    I love, nay, adore, nay, admire the ability of men to really … prioritise … life’s important issues. You know, not, “I love you. I am glad I shared the final years of my life with you. I hope our small son will be okay.” But, I guess it’s good that he did not lose all sense of proportion and run up and down the aisle of the plane, arms flailing wildly, shrieking, “We’re all going to DIE. I’ve got so much to GIVE.” Keep calm and carry on and all that. Jolly good show, what? Huzzah for men!

    • Ms FOAS says:

      My husband then told me he’d put the lifejacket on his iPad instead of himself.

      I would have responded but I was too busy fitting MY iPad into MY lifejacket. I think my husband and I are a perfect match.

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