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I am wearing high heels today.

“Big deal,” I hear you say. Well, it’s notable because I so rarely do so. In my world, high heels are reserved for when all other shoe options are out of the question. And even in those cases – say when I’m dressing to attend a wedding – do I yearn to pair my dress with a nice, comfy pair of Converse sneakers. I’m classy like that.

It’s not that I have trouble in heels. Walking is fine. I even believe they give my legs a nice line – they achieve a sophistication that flatties can only aspire to.

No, the reason I avoid high heels is simple and unavoidable: I am 6 feet tall.

As a ‘vertically superabundant’ person, I look startling in heels and not necessarily in a good way. I tower over people whilst barefoot, so adding more height is a lot like stuffing a pizza crust with cheese – ludicrous and unnecessary.

So why did I wear them today? Well, it wasn’t to look attractive to men, that’s for sure. Even if I wasn’t happily married, it would be counter-productive. I learned long ago that most men are not at ease with tall gals. In fact, we can make them run a mile.

Actually, it’s interesting that men’s fantasies often include tall gals (hello, models!) but you never hear a guy in the real world say, “Man, it was a hot date! I had to stand on a chair to kiss her! Hello, Miss Right!”

So the reason I’m wearing high heels today is a kind of final hurrah! I resigned my job a few weeks ago to care for Mr Squish full time (hence the creation of this blog), and it’s all finally winding up in a few days.

“Why not wear heels to the office!” said my stupid, pre-caffeinated brain this morning. “It may be one of your last chances in ages to impersonate a stylish, professional employee who doesn’t have Vegemite smeared through her hair.”

So I did. And to any men I traumatised throughout the day, I’m deeply sorry. But if it makes you feel better, I’d wager my feet are far more upset with me than you could ever be.

2 Responses to “I blame my pre-caffeinated brain”

  1. Joasia says:

    they were cute heels! see you for lunch soon.

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