I am wearing high heels today.
“Big deal,” I hear you say. Well, it’s notable because I so rarely do so. In my world, high heels are reserved for when all other shoe options are out of the question. And even in those cases – say when I’m dressing to attend a wedding – do I yearn to pair my dress with a nice, comfy pair of Converse sneakers. I’m classy like that.
It’s not that I have trouble in heels. Walking is fine. I even believe they give my legs a nice line – they achieve a sophistication that flatties can only aspire to.
No, the reason I avoid high heels is simple and unavoidable: I am 6 feet tall.
As a ‘vertically superabundant’ person, I look startling in heels and not necessarily in a good way. I tower over people whilst barefoot, so adding more height is a lot like stuffing a pizza crust with cheese – ludicrous and unnecessary.
So why did I wear them today? Well, it wasn’t to look attractive to men, that’s for sure. Even if I wasn’t happily married, it would be counter-productive. I learned long ago that most men are not at ease with tall gals. In fact, we can make them run a mile.
Actually, it’s interesting that men’s fantasies often include tall gals (hello, models!) but you never hear a guy in the real world say, “Man, it was a hot date! I had to stand on a chair to kiss her! Hello, Miss Right!”
So the reason I’m wearing high heels today is a kind of final hurrah! I resigned my job a few weeks ago to care for Mr Squish full time (hence the creation of this blog), and it’s all finally winding up in a few days.
“Why not wear heels to the office!” said my stupid, pre-caffeinated brain this morning. “It may be one of your last chances in ages to impersonate a stylish, professional employee who doesn’t have Vegemite smeared through her hair.”
So I did. And to any men I traumatised throughout the day, I’m deeply sorry. But if it makes you feel better, I’d wager my feet are far more upset with me than you could ever be.
they were cute heels! see you for lunch soon.
Thanks! Fashion before function, as they say. Have fun in Melbourne!