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There are certain words that delight me. Ameliorate is one. I heard Stephen Fry use it recently and it’s been swimming in my thoughts ever since. I love the way it rolls around in my mouth. Say it out loud. Ameliorate.

I’m also keen on those very English and old-fashioned words, like:

Beseech. Glean. Henceforth. Nary. Thither. Twain. Whence. Betwixt. Festoon. Hither. Prithee.

Used today, they sound silly and hilariously pompous. At odds with the modern day, they are beautiful relics sadly gathering dust.

But they are heavy with history and I long for their resurgence. Like ameliorate, I rarely get to use them.

But there are certain words and sentence styles I do not enjoy. ‘Consultant-speak’ (the practice of using too many big words to say very little) is sadly popular. And it shows no signs of dying. Here’s one example I found online:

“Our holistic approach enables vertical connectivity between the field operations team and the quality assurance technicians to optimize consumer impact points.”

Firstly, look at the words holistic, vertical and points. They have no real meaning and do not need to be there.

And I can only congratulate the writer in their restraint in using ‘connectivity’ instead of ‘interconnectivity’. It’s slightly longer, more impressive-sounding and just as confusing. It must have been tempting.

I’m a fan of keeping things short and clear. Consultant-speak often mistakes using complicated words for good writing. But often the message dissipates, either from people scurrying for a dictionary or just tuning out.

For instance, which sentence has more impact?

You are an invidious individual to whom I hold a superabundant amount of antagonism towards.

Or…

I hate you.

The latter has a certain jabbing punch to it. The sentiment is unmistakable and the impact is greater.

Anyway, that’s enough of me bleating on. It’s late. Time for bed and sleep.

Sorry. I meant to say the quotidian dawn-to-dark period is culminating. It’s time to investigate the horizontal sleeping platform, wherein I shall undertake my nightly session of unconsciousness.

Much clearer.

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