Another baffling children’s product has caught my attention. The toy’s slogan is awesome and I’d love to see it as a film tagline one day: “They’re friends, they eat each other, it’s a complicated relationship”. Indeed.
Let me introduce the bizarre plush toy range called Food Chain Friends!
Now, I’ve had my fair share of complicated friendships yet nothing this fraught with issues. Happily, my pals and I have always been on the same rung of the food chain and at no point – to the best of my recollection – have they tried to dine on my still-twitching corpse.
But I love this toy and I love that people thought of it.
Below is how I imagine their first product strategy meeting went:
Person 1: “Hello Person 2. Firstly, well done on our last collaboration.”
Person 2: “Back at you, Person 1. So, what’s our next assignment?”
P1: “OK, the brief says we need to create a unique plush toy range that teaches kids about the world. Something fun yet educational.”
P2: “So we’re talking about toys that eat each other, yes?”
P1: “What?”
P2: “Toys that kill and devour each other.”
P1: ” – ”
P2: “I’m pretty sure there’d be a gap in the market.”
P1: “I don’t doubt that.”
P2: “We could have a variety of characters and they could take turns being the prey, like “Owww, Mr Fluffy! Stop eating my head! You’re supposed to be my best friend!” You know, the sort of role-playing games kids love.”
P1: ” – ”
P2: “Come on, it’s genius!”
P1: “Look, I’m just not sure that young children want to play games where their beloved fluffy toys kill and consume each other.”
P2: “We could make it more literal!”
P1: “Yeeeeah. Except if you remember, that wasn’t really my issue now, was it.”
P2: “I know! Let’s make them fit into each other’s mouths! Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom! Nom!… ”
P1: “Look, if I say yes, will you stop talking?”
P2: “Yes.”
P1: “Good. Alright. *sigh* Jesus, where’s my damn aspirin?”
